In times of grief, sometimes silence is golden

Working in the ministry I am often called upon in times of grief and sorrow. We lost a dear friend and church member this week. She was only 49 and left behind a 17-year old son. My wife and I have been in communication with her mother, with whom she was very close with, and we want to be a source of strength and comfort to her. Naturally, she is grieving very badly over losing her daughter. She mentioned of how she wanted to be angry and really did not feel comforted by encouraging words or hearing things such as "well, you know she's in a better place now." I can certainly relate, when my older sister Pam died people were telling me all of those things too. I know that those folks meant well and probably just didn't know what to say but I really just wanted to be angry and their words were not comforting at all.

I'm reminded of Joe Bayly who lost three of his children. In his book, The view from a Hearse. Joe writes: "I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God's dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly. He said things I knew were true. I was unmoved, except to wish he'd go away. He finally did. Another came and sat beside me. He didn't talk. He didn't ask me leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour or more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. "I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go."

In life you are going to be faced with both times of grief and times of trying to comfort someone else in their time of grief. In the Book of John chapter 14, Jesus promised us a Comforter. We can rely on Him in our times of grief and sorrow. Just remember; you don't always have to try to come up with some fancy words or try to provide words of wisdom, after all... sometimes silence is golden.