I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now
"I started out traveling for the Lord many years ago, I've had a lot of heartaches, had a lot of grief and woe. But, when I would stumble, then I would humble down. And there I would say, I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now." - Wouldn't Take Nothing For My Journey Now - Written by Charles Goodman and Jimmie Davis.
Last night at church as I was making announcements and welcoming folks, I made the comment that it felt like it had been forever since our last service. In all reality it had only been 3-days, or if you prefer 72-hours. But, it sure seemed like it had been a lot longer. As I have gotten older I have found that my thoughts, ideas, and desires have completely changed from what they were when I was a younger man that used to complain about going to church.
I can remember as a child being "forced" to attend church, and in my little mind I thought my parents were trying to torture me. In my teens I enjoyed singing and didn't really mind going to church, plus, that was the only place that I could date my girlfriend, so my desire to attend was really selfishly motivated. As a young adult, I felt that church was more of an obligation and I felt guilty if I didn't attend. I enjoyed it some but really only went because I knew I should. I even got out of church for a while when I was in my twenties but I always felt ashamed when not attending.
Eventually, life's troubles and strife found their way into my life. I was not following God's will and I paid dearly because of it. I finally turned to God and church for Spiritual guidance. I began seeing how God's power could work in my life. I will never forget working a dead-end job making minimum wage, barely able to make ends meet and feeling emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. I prayed to my Father in Heaven and made a covenant with Him. I would do whatever He wanted me to do for His Kingdom. Little did I know what He had in store for me...
The Sunday School Teacher: There was a need for a young adult Sunday school teacher at my church. "Who in their right mind would want to do that," I wondered? Unbelievably, I found many fingers pointing toward me. "God, are you sure," I asked? He was sure and I stepped into that role. It was one of the scariest things in my entire life. I'll never forget my knees literally knocking together as I stood that first Sunday in front of a room of 12 people and began teaching. As my confidence grew, so did my desire to understand God's Word and my desire to have a close relationship with Him. I relished in my study time and was amazed at how God revealed things to me from the Bible that I had never understood before. I guess it was like in Acts 9:18 telling about the Apostle Paul's conversion: "And immediately there fell from his eyes as it had been scales: and he received sight forthwith, and arose, and was baptized."
Minister of Music: Suddenly we were faced with the Minister of Music resigning from the church so he could attend college full-time. "Who will we put into that position," I wondered? Again, in my unbelief, fingers were pointing toward me. Have I mentioned that I have always been totally backwards and shy around people? Have I mentioned that I inherited a very deep bass voice? I never once in a million years wanted to lead a choir or a congregation in song. I was completely happy standing on the back pew of the choir and singing the bass part. But, I accepted the position of music minister and learned how to lead. God didn't just stick me out there on my own, he led others to help me. My aunt Barbara was the pianist at the church and she painstakingly lowered each Hymn for me so that I was able to lead without cracking every high note. The pastor of the church, Jamie Porterfield, instructed me on how to conduct with my hands with the proper time signatures and beats. Eventually I became comfortable standing in front of over 100 folks and leading them in worship. Preaching the Gospel: Just when I became comfortable, God placed another calling in my life... preaching His Word. There was no way, no how, that I wanted to do that! I will fully admit that I questioned God many times about it (something which I've finally learned to stop doing). I guess I was a lot like Moses standing there barefooted in front of the burning bush throwing out excuses as to why I would not be a good choice. But, just like it says in Isaiah 55:8-9: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
So, I began preaching. You talk about feeling inadequate! The Lord must've really been hard up for preachers because I am the least of the least. Pastor Porterfield gave me many opportunities to preach and I eventually stopped going into nervous convulsions every time I stood behind the pulpit. Little did I know that God was preparing me to step into Jamie's position to pastor the church after he resigned. The folks at the church asked me to interim while they looked for a pastor. I enjoyed many wonderful services during the nearly 1-year of my term. I still held my position of Sunday school teacher and minister of music as well. The church eventually hired a pastor and I slipped into a depression.
The Desert Experience: If you have studied the Bible much then you know that God's people are not perfect people. Many great leaders have went through testing periods in their lives. Moses wandering in the desert, David falling into sin causing strife throughout his family, Jesus in the desert being tempted of the devil, Peter denying Christ before the crucifixion. All of these are desert experiences. It is during this time that we are tested by the fire as to whether we will be burnt up or come out refined. I went through my own desert experience. I learned some hard, valuable lessons during that time. It was during this time that I sat back and took a long look at my life and my heart. I had two choices; I could throw in the towel or I could throw my heart into Jesus' hands. I thank God that I chose the latter.
God of Second chances: Aren't you so glad that we serve a loving and forgiving God? His Grace is marvelous and his mercy is endless. Eventually I moved on to my current church, Highland Baptist. My family and I just joined as regular members. I really was just looking to be ministered to. I had no intentions of leading the music or teaching Sunday school, or preaching. But, when God places a calling in your life, it is forever, unless circumstances arise that make it impossible to continue. I was asked to teach the pre-teen Sunday school class and then I was asked to be the minister of music. Pastor Hutchison has also given me numerous opportunities to stand behind the pulpit and preach. I've enjoyed the past 3-years we have been members there.What is in store? Currently I am enrolled at Crown Seminary working on my Masters of Ministry degree. I don't know what else God has in store for me but I fully intend to follow his direction. I am not perfect by any means. I have messed up more times than I have done things right. But, you know, God is not looking for perfect people, he is looking for people that have a desire for Him. If you have a passion and desire to be used by God to spread the Gospel message, He will find you and make a way for you. You just have to be willing to step up and accept. Working for Jesus is a journey, but I guarantee you when it's all said and done with, you wouldn't take nothing for it!
