The juggler

When we accept Christ as our Savior, He bestows spiritual gifts upon us. These gifts are to be used to fulfill the Great Commission and to bring honor and glory to the Lord Jesus Christ. Some folks use their gifts for the good, some for the bad, and some not at all. I think the hardest part is discovering exactly what gifts you have and how the best way to use them is. At least that's been the hardest for me. Sometimes the gift that you are given is not what you wanted at all. For instance, I never in a million years wanted to be in front of people teaching or preaching, and I never ever desired to be a leader or director. My plans were to be a bass singer in a big-time Southern Gospel quartet. Of course I had the opportunity for that and was too young and stupid to reach out and grab it.

This morning I stumbled across a website that asks questions about our spiritual strengths and weaknesses, calculates them and then scores you on what your gifts are. Unfortunately, I scored 90 to 100% in all 20 categories except for hospitality, which I scored a very low 40%, which I could have told you before filling out the questions. The hospitality score was based on 2 questions, one was "I enjoy welcoming guests and helping them to feel at ease," which I put occasionally, and the other was "I am often asked to open my home for small group gatherings or social occasions," in which I put rarely true.

So, you see, for me it is very difficult to discern exactly which gift I should focus on. In the past, I have had people come up to me and say, "Byron, God has really given you a gift for music, and you should be a choir director." Others have said, "Byron, God has really given you a gift for teaching, you should be a Sunday school teacher." Others have said, "Byron, God has really given you a gift for preaching, you should pastor a church." One thing I have never heard from anybody is, "Byron, God has really given you a gift for sitting on the church pew and doing nothing." Sometimes I wish I would hear that one! ;)

The problem in all of this is that trying to do too much leads to burnout. I've done it before and I feel that I am heading for it again. I'm trying to do too much. I am staying depressed about the church and my ministries, it is wearing me down. My list of jobs, whether appointed or self-appointed, right now are:

1. Minister of Music - I was asked to do this by the members of the church. I didn't want to do this but I wanted to make sure the music stayed in the right direction so I accepted. I do enjoy it at times but I feel like there is someone else that could do a much better job than me. I am a bass singer, not a lead and everything has to be lowered. I also get very discouraged when I get so wrapped up in the music and feeling such Spirit and look out across the congregation and see people talking, laughing, cutting up, walking around, not paying attention, or looking like they would rather be dead than in church. It's like a dagger in my heart. Not to mention there are only about 7 people that are faithful enough to attend choir practice. I am very grateful for those members but I get very disappointed in the others.

2. Sunday school teacher - I was asked to do this by the Sunday school director. I enjoy teaching from the Bible. I know that most of the folks in class never crack open a Bible until they are sitting in Sunday school class and they have no idea what they are reading. It is thrilling to see someone hear the Truth and see the look of enlightenment on their face. I've been told many times that I am good at teaching. What I'm not good at is allowing students to sit around and eat candy, talk about non-Christ related stuff, or goof off. I know that I only have 30-45 minutes to cram in a lesson in hopes that it will change someone's life, so I stick to the Bible. That has caused some students to not want to attend my class because they simply aren't interested in learning.

3. Webmaster - I volunteered to do this. I love working with websites and am very experienced with it and wanted our church to have an online presence so we could spread the Word globally. Our church website gets thousands of visitors a month from all over the world. People in places as far away as China are downloading and listening to our sermons and music. This is probably as close to being a missionary as I'll ever be.

4. Church Bulletin - I volunteered to do this as well. The person that was doing it before me didn't really want to do it but was kind of forced into it. I am in front of a computer a lot so it wasn't that big of a deal for me. Plus, I wanted to have the order of service and the song selections in the bulletin every Sunday and I knew if I was in charge of the bulletin I could do that. The problem is, I have to run off the copies and fold them and have them ready before church starts. So, I have to do it either on Saturday night or Sunday morning before church. It's time consuming and always causes me to have to rush around to get things done. I wish someone would either volunteer to take it over or at least let me email them the bulletin and they could print it out and run it off and make sure it was ready on Sunday morning.

5. VBS director - I have a passion for VBS because I was saved during VBS when I was a kid. I think it is one of the greatest evangelistic tools that we have. I don't really want to be the director of VBS but the gentleman that was doing it before me had done it for many years and I know he needed a break. I don't know of anyone else in the church that would be willing to step up and take this ministry over. It's like pulling teeth just to get people to show any kind of excitement about it at all. It is an extremely difficult job and very time consuming.

6. Preaching - God gave me the call to preach back in 1997. I was already a Sunday school teacher and choir director. I certainly did not want to preach. It made me sick just thinking about it. I've always been very backward and shy and to me it was the ultimate kick in the rear-end to be placed in front of a congregation of people relying on me to expound the Word of God. I wanted to spread the Message but I wanted to do it in my own way. God had other plans. You don't say no to God. I feel that out of everything I do, preaching is the most terrifying, satisfying, and beneficial thing that I do. It's funny, it's the thing I do the least.

I do all of the above plus work a full-time job outside of the church and raise a family of 5 on one income. The brakes need to come on and soon.

Now that I've bored you to death let me get around to the whole reason I'm writing this post. First of all it is just to get it off of my chest. Writing is my way of relieving stress. That's why I have over a dozen websites and blogs. (I must have a lot of stress to relieve!) Second of all is for me to try and analyze and prioritize my ministry. I'm going to have to make some decisions and let some things go. Third, it is to ask for advice from others. I'm not generally one to take advice unless it comes from someone with some experience or knowledge on the subject. So, unless you can relate to my situation, please don't bother offering advice. Not trying to sound mean, just frank. Encouragement is welcome though!

Be praying for me this coming Easter Sunday. I have been asked to preach the 6:30 AM Sunrise Service. I will also be teaching my Sunday school class that day and leading the music and Easter Cantata. It's going to be a very stressful day. I just hope that it will make a difference in someone's life. I have a burden for some folks that I know are in need of Salvation. I pray that they will make that decision before it's too late.